True Love Challenging to Find

by Kerri Wells

“I love you.” These three little words might possibly be the most powerful statement one can make to another person. In life, most yearn for the intimate affection that a certain someone can provide them.

Women dream of their Prince Charming to come and sweep them off their feet, while men search for the love of their life that sets their heart on fire. But what happens when love is thrown around without a second thought? Has this four letter word become an overused cliché? Has love been replaced with lust? Is love at first sight possible? And is there even such thing as true love?

This last question has been asked throughout history, while many have argued and debated over the final answer. We, as a society, have become a loveless, sex crazed group of people with no concern for any emotion or attachment in our lives. So, does this mean that true love does not exist? No. This only shows that achieving the deepest of feelings takes work that our fast-food eating, TV watching generation is not prepared to handle. True love does exist, but has merely been pushed aside by convenience, superficiality, and apathy. It seems that over the years, true love is extremely misread.

Love cannot be sparked off instantly. True love takes time to develop, hence why love at first sight is deceptive. As love can be started from a single eye contact it cannot be completed in one. You may meet the love of your life at a bar one evening and know instantly “this is the one,” but that does not mean you are in love the second you lay eyes on her.

To love and be in love you must know a person inside and out. Like the back of your hand. You must know and accept their flaws. You must be able to read that person like a book and see what others cannot see within them. You must be able to simply run to the store and pick up their favorite candy to drop off in their mailbox, or know whether or not they even like candy. You know nothing about this girl at the bar. You are blind to her background, you haven’t cracked her shell, you don’t understand her personality, and you don’t know whether to get her razzles or milk duds.

And even if you were to wing it and assume “you can’t go wrong with sweet tarts,” you don’t even know where she even lives to drop them off. You know nothing more than the outer shell; her name, her looks, her charm, and her mood. Yet people still to this day claim, “It was love at first sight.” You may be in lust and have a strong feeling that she is the one, and don’t get me wrong she just may be your future wife, your love may continue to build from that first sighting, but at the bar, you are NOT in love.

Defining love is always difficult for people because they have not really put a great amount of effort into composing an idea of what it really is. Every teenager is convinced they are so deeply in love a month after being in a wobbly sketchy relationship with the typical lax bro whom has cheated on her… because I mean, he texted her a novel declaring his remorse and feelings for her a week later, so of course they’re meant to live happily ever after and ride off together in a horse drawn carriage.

I think the problem is that all and sundry strive for the concept of love; we are obsessed with the thought of a perfect fairy tale. We crave it. We look for it and desire it more than anything else when in reality we don’t even know what we’re looking for. We stress over the phrase rather than the actual feeling itself.

“I love you” can lie. “I need you” can be for a short time. And “I want you” can be to someone else too. We are so determined to find love that we end up forcing it when it’s not even there. People throw the big three words like a hot potato to the point where it is completely meaningless nowadays. I think it gives them a sense of maturity, comfort and responsibility. Knowing the difference is far more essential.