Opinions  -Puns
Like to Laugh? This Column Is Very Punny!

by Kaitlyn Culpepper

If different kinds of jokes were all put in a class together, then puns would be the kid in the corner eating glue. Or at least, that’s what everyone seems to think. I’m here to change your mind.

Yes, little children love puns. When they are busy increasing their vocabulary every day, and beginning to read-that’s the perfect time to introduce them to the joys of word humor. Plenty of puns are easy to understand, and kids want to laugh, not be left scratching their heads.

My mom packs a pun in my brother’s lunchbox along with his food most days, and it’s always delightful to see him come home eager to read it to me or my sister. Some of his favorites are:

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.

Did you hear about the guys who lost his left arm? He’s all right now!

These examples are simple for sure, but I have seen how puns can make people chuckle at just how stupid they are. That is one of the things I love about them; they’re funny when they’re clever, but they’re also funny when they’re not.

Another fantastic part of making or hearing puns is how spontaneous they can be. There’s no need for memorizing a punch line when it comes to making a play on words. They are the perfect form of a humor for the lazy entertainer but also a way to show off your quick wit.

For example, when I came back from a weekend outdoors with friends, I knew just what to say to my parents about it. “Hey mom, guess what? I went camping over the weekend. It was in tents.” (Sounds like intense-puns are sometimes meant to be said out loud.)

You can be punny with almost any subject, and I’ll share some examples:

 

Science-

I blew up my chemistry experiment. Oxidants happen.

Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything.

Einstein developed a theory about space. And it was about time too.

 

Religion-

How does Noah make his tea? Hebrews it.

Blessed are the cheesemakers, for they shall inherit the kingdom of gouda.

Plants & animals-

Keep your friends close, Anenomes closer.

I wanted to bring a Penguin home but my parents said that wasn’t going to fly.

Posting animal puns online? Well, Toucan play at that game.

The list goes on and on, but I wouldn’t want to rob anyone of the opportunity to look some up themselves…what better way to spend free time, am I right?

Even I can’t help mocking puns, even as I attempt to advocate for them. Ah, well…Don’t give up on them quite yet. Wait until you see what great pick-up lines they make!

Girl, if you were words on a page, you’d be what they refer to as fine print.

Do you like raisins? How do you feel about a date?

Feel my shirt. Know what it’s made of? Boyfriend material.

Did your license get suspended for driving all these guys crazy?

It’s a good thing I have my library card, because I am totally checking you out.

Life is like a broken pencil without you…pointless.

Okay, okay, I’m almost done, I swear. I just want to tell one story-like pun that is actually rather clever:

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Ahmal.” The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him “Juan.” Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.”

The term for a humorous short story than ends in a pun is “feghoot” and I promise there will be hilarious results if you do a google search for it.

The goal was to open your eyes to the wonders of puns but whether I succeeded or failed at that, I had fun doing it!